Once Love, but now a weak friendship in a cage… "Goodbye, my free bird. Goodbye, my love."

Photo by Fabrizio Verrecchia on Unsplash ….. Ironically, I opened Unsplash after writing this to find a picture for this writing…. I opened to this picture staring at me. A picture I’d downloaded years ago that I loved so dearly for its beauty. And oddly… it fits. It fits this writing so perfectly… “Goodbye, my free bird. Goodbye, my love.”

I had so much hope… For us, for me.

Now I see you from a screen with our broken dreams only for me to feel.

I’ve tried to swallow my hurt, my sadness, my jealousy, my hope, my countless feelings including still love… But I can’t. I must feel them tonight. Now from this cage because this is all that can be….

But still, I have hope. And why?! Whyyy…
If only it could not be…
But, I now feel it deteriorating me.

And so, I wonder… Is it worth it?
From this cage… This screen. This so little of a being. For us, for me. For what may and what was.

This. This is not anything. It’s weak. It’s pitiful and sad.

For what was, was beautiful and open and free, but this…. This is now from a cage. A cage that I’m now keeping for us.

And should it be….. I think… I think… I think… I think….. Well, it’s….something…

What shall I do?… Let you go.

I did… I came back. And back and back and back. To this cage… For me, for us. I had hope. I had hope….I had hope. Time after Time, I’ve returned. To this cage, this screen. This pitiful cell of…